Names

If this was a blog only about how I am spending my days right now, it would be a quite boring read to most people. It would go something like this: Changed my sons diaper again, then made him food, then fed him,  felt really tired because of lack of sleep, changed his diaper again, bla bla bla. Highlights would be information about his new tooth (It looks so cuuuute) and his new skill: Raising himself up everywhere (He is so clever. And cute) Sometimes the practical repetitions are boring even for me, but the fact that he is so cute and lovely makes it kind of wonderful anyway.

Look! New tooth!

Anyway, this means that most of the adventorous stuff in my life is happening inside my brain. Lots of less adventorous things are happening there too, like LISTS. As I have written about before, I love making lists..One of my favourite lists at the moments is the name-list. As you know, we are expecting a new baby in february, and this little person is going to have a name. We also recently found out that we are expecting another boy. :-) So now it is more concrete, and feels more real.

So, I made some lists, with boys names. (Not that I hadnt done before. I think I started it already 15 years ago, haha. But now I made a new one, where I tried to shorten it down a bit..)
Luckily my husband thinks it is my task & pleasure to find the name, and as long as he has nothing against the name it is all ok for him.

I dont know why, but boys names are just so much more difficult to find than girls names. I have names ready for 20 daughters already. But for boys it seems as if you have to choose between a not nice name, or a nice name which is too common. Since we are an international couple we also have some "rules" to follow. One rule is that it needs to be possible to pronounce it in both Norwegain, Danish, English and Nepali. And this creates another rule: The name should not have an R in it, and it shall not end with a J.

Finally I had a list with four names, and in  addition I found a Nepalese name which I liked. (After a long search, because even there it was more difficult finding nice boys names than girls names) When I told my husband the Nepalese name I had found he told me that name is almost too common, even though I have never heard it before. He said that if we named our son that, and then gave him his fathers surname, he would sound like a very average and traditional Nepalese person. We then decided it could be a middle name, and find another main name/first name.

I then went back to my list with four names:
S or I or V or D.
(Sorry, I am a little bit supersticious, so I cant tell you the whole names until he is born)

S =  Maybe my favourite among the four. But I dont know if it sounds weird in other languages/countries, I could just imagine it would sound really weird when being pronounced by Nepalese people. In addition this name didnt fit well with the second name (The nepalese one) When I said them both together it sounded weird.
I: Ok, but not my favourite. But this sounded really nice and right with the Nepalese name.
V: Deleted because it ended with the same letter as the second name started with, and it sounded weird.
D (Dante) Deleted, because when I told my husband about this name he said it is basically the same as tooth in Nepali! (Danta)

So, we ended up with I, because it sounded nice with the second one, and harmonious, and so on, and could be pronounced in all languages.

Then....two weeks later my husband suddenly said: Is the name really finalized? Because I really want all of my children to start with an S. Cant you find a name starting with an S? (He has a daughter from before, and her name by coincidence also starts with an S) The funny thing is that the only name on my list which was not deleted was actually starting with an S. This was also my favourite from the beginning. He repeated it and surprisingly it did not sound weird from the mouth of a nepalese at all. So, now that is finalized! His first name will be S, and it will sound weird together with the second name, but at least it will sound nice with Silas, and thats what we will hear in our daily speaking.


I promise that my next blogpost will be either shorter, or more interesting, or at least not include codes and secret names.

Nepalweather and good news

Today we have Nepal weather. That`s what I call it when the sky is without any cloud, and the air is bright but misty at the same time. My husband calls it dashain weather, because it`s the weather they have in Nepal during the month of dashain, which is one of the biggest festivals there. (Comparable to our christmas)

This weather always makes me want to travel to Nepal again, and as the situation is now, my best way to travel is through youtube. My favourite video is this one here, - Nepal in a nutshell in seven minutes. It has everything I remember from my first and longest travel in Nepal: Steep and hilly way to school. Blue plastic sandals. Scary kitchen knife. Eating rice with the hand. The special light of a Nepalese morning. Dangerous traffic. Children playing with the leaves from a plant. Beutiful people.

By watching this video I can almost feel that fresh morning air and the smell of nepalese food.

And now, the good news: I am pregnant! :-) If everything goes well, little Silas will be a big brother in february 2015.

Silas Nimai

I have been quite busy lately, so havent written in a while, but now I`m back. One of the things which has taken my time has been planning the name celebration for Silas. It ended up being a really nice day. As I told you in my previous post Silas Nimai means forrest/tree + light/shining, so we celebrated his arrival in this world and his name with a lantern party in the forrest. Unfortunately I almost forgot to take photos, so I only have a few.

The party was held in a cottage in the forrest. Both Silas and his father were wearing traditional Nepalese clothes, and I was wearing my Norwegian national costume.

After welcoming people and introducing the guests, we started off with making lanterns. Everybody was asked to make their own, as a symbol of giving him light and make this concrete. After making the lanterns we had a short kind of ceremony, where we wished Silas welcome to the world with the help from a nice song (I`ll add the youtube video, but its in Swedish, and as the words are the most important thing in the song, it might not make so much sense to everybody) The song is about wishing a small baby welcome to this world and giving him love.

At the same time as playing the song, I started sending a flame from my candle around the table. With my candle I lit the the next persons candle, and so it continued around the whole table, so that everybody got light from the person sitting next to them. Eventyually we were sitting in a circle of light, and then we lightened the lanterns. With the lights we wished Silas a bright and happy future, and we sang a song which I had made for him about this.

After the light ceremony we had delicious nepalese food, brought out to us in the forrest, from a nepalese & tibetan restaurant.

Later we were supposed to have a quiz walk in the forrest, but as the weather was not so good at this time we did it in and around the cottage instead. Everybody had got a colour on the back of their name sign, and everybody with the same colour were on the same team. I had hidden the posts, and the questions they were supposed to find and answer were about Silas and things related to him.

We also sang a lot of songs, while my brother played the guitar. Silas will be able to read about this all in some years, as we had brought a book for everybody to write and paint in.

In the evening we had cakes and coffee, and in the later evening we put all the lanterns outside, to see them glow in the dark. They looked really nice while standing there and shining through the darkness, as a symbol of all the happy wishes we have made for him and his future.

Name, life, lanterns

In august we are going to have a party, to celebrate that Silas has arrived in this world, and that he has got a name.

His first name means "tree/forrest/the one who came from the forrest" His second name means "filled with light" Because of this, we will fill the forrest with light, by arranging a lantern party. Since it will be in august, both the day and the night will be bright. So lanterns are maybe not a very logical option. But we decided to make it anyway, and call it a lightparty, where we will involve all kinds of lights. Lanterns, bonfire, candles, the sun...and it will all start off with all of us making lanterns together. The lanterns will be used later, as a way to wish Silas a bright and happy life.

These days I am spending some time on planning the details and getting things settled. The other day I decided to make a couple of simple lanterns, just as a test to find out some things about the process, and to have a couple of examples. It was quite fun.

Nepali

Each time I am in Nepal I regret I didnt learn nepali before I came. And each time I promise myself that when I come home I will study it intensely, so that I am able to communicate in nepali on my next trip. It still hasn’t happened, but recently I decided to give it a new try, and in a new way:

I chose a few sentences (and other things related to the language) which I wanted to learn, and asked my husband to tell me the translation and how to pronounce it. Then I wrote the sentences down on my blackboard wall. (Sometimes with my own fonetic language instead of (or in addition to) the correct spelling, so that I will remember the pronunciation) The plan is that I will read it every time I pass, and then practise it in my head right after having passed it. When I have finally got the sentences stored in my memory, and always remember them without looking at the wall, I will find some new sentences. And so on. 

 

 

 

Painting with babies

 

Painting with children can be quite nice. At least when I think about it. You can get cheap big art on your wall in exactly the colours your room needs, it might look like modern art, and when people ask if you made it yourself you don’t need to reply yes, but can almost truly tell them it was made by a child. The process is usually fun too.

 

Last time I did this was together with the two sweet twins Bjørn and Birk:

 

 

This time I wanted to make a painting where Silas hands were in focus. I have seen so many parents making things with their childrens hands, but I rarely found it very beautiful. There must be a good reason why people make these thing though, since so many are doing it, and of course I can see the point too. So I wanted to make something using his hands, and which could be stored for the future.

 

When I was pregnant with Silas I started having a lot of wonderful dreams about butterflies. The dreams were so special and lively, and the butterflies were more beautiful and magic than you can ever imagine. So, I decided I would make a painting where his hands turned into butterflies. You know, - put paint on his hands and then put his hands on the sheet, and one hand is one butterfly wing. Can you imagine? So could I. I concluded though, that I should probably wait for someone to join me, so that one of us could put his hands on the painting and the other could prevent him from eating the paint. So I waited, but then I got impatient almost right after having started waiting, and decided I could probably do it myself anyway. Then I again concluded I couldn’t, but was still impatient, so I decided that during the process of waiting I would make something else to the painting where I also were using hands as butterflies. I decided to make these butterflies by just drawing around his hands. Well, let me just say that this wasn’t as easy as it sounds either. I put him on the stomach on the top of the painting, but suddenly he forgot how to hold his head.. (I should have painted his nose) Nothing happened though, he was happy again after some seconds. But the result is that I still have a half painted thing standing in my livingroom, wich includes some strange drawings with a pencil, and which I cant even lie about when people ask me who painted it

 

Thoughts about living in Nepal

I love Nepal. Even so much that I sometimes dream about living there. We would buy a house or cottage and land (because suddenly we would win the lottery and be rich) and then renovate it in a perfect, special and personal way (Because suddenly we would be even more rich and have handyman-skills) We would grow our own organic food and have a lot of children and some cute animals. Our friends and family from Norway and Denmark would come and visit us all the time (Because suddenly they would be rich too) I would make a successful and cosy but not time demanding business (or win the lottery), all the snakes would be dead, and I would be fluent in nepali.

 

If I go back to reality for a moment, I have been thinking of what my main challenges probably would be, if Nepal was my home and daily life, and not only a dream. When I hear from foreigners who live there permanently, they often mention that there are certain practical things they miss from home, like hot showers, a stable electricity, not everybody being late, clean air and clean water. I am sure I would agree, but my experience from being in Nepal during some months among only Nepalese people is that there is something else which would be a much bigger challenge to me. Something more abstract, more deep, more personal. Later I have been reflecting about why exactly these things were so difficult to handle, and I have come to the conclusion that it is probably because:

1) It is connected to my personal (and cultural) values.

2) It is connected to the possibilities of feeling close and connected to other people.  

 

These are the five things I found myself missing the most when I was there, and which I think would be my biggest challenges if I was going to live there:

 

1. Communication

I was missing to be ironic or sarcastic and know that it would be understood. I was missing a certain type of humour. To laugh about the same things for the same reason. To understand the same things in the same way. To communicate something to someone, by sending messages between the lines. To receive messages between the lines. To know and understand the unwritten rules of the society. To share these unwritten rules. I was missing the things I just mentioned in relation to feeling close to people, and developing friendships. I think I would sometimes feel lonely in Nepal if I was living there, even though surrounded by people all the time.

 

And that leads me to the next one:

 

2. Privacy

I was missing the possibility of not having people around all the time. I was missing the unwritten rule about not to stare at people without trying to hide it. (When I was there for the first time I had to walk down a very steep, small hill every day. There was some water running, which meant that it was always really slippery. It was a challenge to go down there, but what made it more challenging was that my performance was watched by a group of people every day.) I was also missing the possibility of being alone with one friend at the time and have private conversations without any audience. (Many places you can not be alone in a room with a man if you are a woman and not married to him. If you are alone with a man you are not married to, then at least you should keep the door totally open, so that other people can see that nothing inappropriate is going on. Or better, you should be in a public place, like in a restaurant.) I was not missing, but would if was living there for a longer time, the possibility of telling people that I want to have some time by myself and be alone, without being seen as rude or strange. (I enjoy my own company and never feel bored. My husband thinks it is extremely weird to have such a big need of being alone sometimes, and he even said that if I got this need in Nepal I should maybe make something up instead of telling the truth, as people would find it strange and not understand it) Another thing I found difficult related to privacy, was the lack of respect for private properties: People would find it normal to pick up my mobile or computer and start looking at my private messages and photos without asking. Seeing this from an objective perspective it is nice: People are sharing, and not being selfish. But as coming from a different culture it was really a challenge, and I was not able to adapt it. I wonder if I would, if I was living there for a much longer time. Probably to a certain extent.

 

3. Equality

In Nepal there are hierarchic systems everywhere. Between genders, casts, generations, and I could go on. Nobody is equal. I was missing the common western society value that everybody is equal.

A lot of the hierarchic structure is working ok, because people are used to it. The teacher is naturally treated with great respect. The elders are being respected and asked for advice. And so on. But for me it was really difficult and even annoying that these structurs were everywhere in the society, as many of them didnt even make sense for me, and at the same time I was expected to follow it. For example, I would feel very strange if I was expected to follow the advice of an old stupid man instead of a young wise, loving and caring teenage girl. Maybe a silly example, but you got the point.

 

4. Cosiness

(Danes are proud of their word hygge, which they think is non existing in any other part of the world. Maybe that’s true, but in my opinion the word cosiness is closely related) I was really missing this one in Nepal, even though I was doing nice things with nice people all the time, and had a lot of meals and tea. What I was missing was that specific atmosphere which can only be created out from a common understanding/feeling of what cosiness is. I was missing that a meal is not only food, but also cosiness. That candles are not only being used because of practical reasons, but because of cosiness. I was missing that people in general mind if the electrical light is not cosy, but cold and white, and that the atmosphere is related to this. The possibility of eating and talking at the same time, and make the meal last for a long time. That some meals are arranged only because of the possibility of cosiness. That drinking tea and coffee is done mainly because it is cosy. Cosiness in THAT specific way.

 

5. Animals welfare

The other points I mentioned were cultural challenges, where I am not saying (at least not trying to, and not meaning to, really) that my culture is the best. The cultures are just so different that challenges naturally occur, and it would have been the same the other way around. This one is a bit different, and I had a big problem with it: Most animals in Nepal are treated really badly, and some even brutal. (I once heard the sound of a group of chickens in fear while being in Nepal. I will never forget the sound of their desperate crying…) Dogs are beaten, goats are brutally slaughtered, and lots of animals are stored like things on the market, before getting sold. Yes, that’s the fact really: Animals are being treated as things, not like living creatures who can feel pain and fear. My heart was bleeding so many times as I saw this happen. Even children were beating the dogs. I found this so strange, and I have been thinking and wondering a lot about how it can happen, that the empathy with animals is just not present there in so many people, even children. I thought, somehow, that it was something people worldwide had naturally in them, as a kind of instinct. (You know, in the same way as we naturally are programmed to care for babies because they are helpless and have cute, big eyes)

 

Oh, that leads me to another point, which I had not been thinking of until now. Since I have a child (which I had not on my last trip) I would probably also have to add some kind of fear to this lists. I am always so afraid of the transport in Nepal, so thinking of my baby on these roads makes me terrified, and other safety issues too, like not being able to count on the ambulance to come when you need it.

 

Some time in the future I am quite sure that we will stay in Nepal for a longer period of time though. My child is half Nepalese, so I want him to know his background. I want him to know the culture of the country which his father is so proud of and which his mother kept visiting again and again. But I don’t know yet when it will be. (Maybe when he is around 60. I just have to build some roads first. And kill some snakes.)

6 months

Six months old today.

I wanted to write something about it,  but all the words got stuck and lost in an ocean of clichés.

It has been six months now, since I was sitting in a taxi on my way to the hospital, wondering why I had symptoms on his arrival already, more than a month before expected.
Two hours later he was born.

He is such a lovely little person, and I am so grateful to have him here.

Glimpses from the week

Small glimpses from this and the previous week.
These are some of the things I did: 

    
                      
                    Went to the beach. The weather has been really nice here lately.

 

                         


Celebrated the daughter of a friends confirmation. Silas insisted on wearing a shirt for the occasion.

Had my brother visiting us. He lives in Norway.

  

Enjoyed some painting, even though I am not good at it.

 

Visited friends.

 

 

Had momo in the local Nepalese restaurant, and was feeding Silas milk on the way.

 

Tried to reunite with the moby wrap. In some ways it work really well and in some ways it doesnt. Its easy to put on, and he likes being there. (At least in the beginning..) But his head is always moving around, and he is not so strong in his neck yet.

 

 

Bought flowers.

Was offering Silas porridge and vegetables for the first time.

 

 

Had a lot of coffee :-)

Flea market

The flea market season has started! This Sunday Silas and I went to a big flea market together with some friends. The whole street was filled and totally crowded, with lots of different stands and people. I bought some dresses for myself, which were all to small! I also bought some bags, and some nice and cheap toys for Silas. (Which he is still too small to play with, but its nice to have) 

 

 

 

Happy new year 2071

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lists

I love making lists! Not practical to do lists, but nice, cosy lists about wishes, dreams and activities.

One of the first lists I remember making, was when I was about 11 years old. The list was called: “Things I have to remember when I become a mother” It was from an 11 year olds perspective, so it would be really interesting to find this list now, but unfortunately I don’t know where it is. (But I do remember storing it in a box for the future, so it must be somewhere!) I do remember some of the points on the list though, and I remember the main points to be something related to seeing the child for who it is and respecting its view, and things like this. (It’s actually a Danish term from my education, which I don’t know how to translate into English)  

When I was around 17 me and some friends made a list called “Organic community in the south of England” I don’t really know why it was going to be in the south of England, as I have never been there, haha. But I remember we had seen some nice photos from there, which kind of caught our imagination. I remember that some of the ingredients of this list (and of this community) was that we were going to open a private kindergarten there, and do this for a living. And all the main activities in the kindergarten (and community/house) was going to be creative activities, like painting and modelling. We were also going to grow our own vegetables and be as self-sufficient as possible, and we were going to have a lot of pets too.

I think I was the only person who was serious about the reality- potential of this list, and who still think it is a quite nice idea…



(This photo is from another kind of ecovillage I once lived in. I went to this place every morning to get tomatoes and herbs for the food I was going to make. I really liked the mornings there. )

When I had problems with my appendix for a long time during my early twenties, without any diagnose, I was making a list pointing out things I wanted to do if I got well and the pain disappeared. Luckily it did, and the fun thing is that I found the list several years later, and noticed I had fulfilled all the things on the list. I don’t remember all of it now, but one of the things was that I wanted to go to some small place by the coast in Ireland, to learn the Irish language (Gaelic)



(This is where I went. Really nice place. I was there three times.)

          

At the moment I am making lists with ideas for Silas name celebration. Thats fun too. :-) More to come about this later.

More about crochet

Silas is now big enough to wear some of the clothes I have made! It is fun to see it on him, and it inspires me to make more. When I get some more time (or make some new priorities) I will try to follow a recipe again. Would really like to learn it.

The yarn I used for making this jacket was bought in Kathmandu. I bought one kilo of wool in different colours, and then me and the one kilo of wool were packed on the back of a motorbike and drove through this street. I was feeling like a local in that moment.

 

 

 

The yarn was really cheap, but it was also of a quite bad quality, I found out later. And it was originally from New Zealand, by the way. I think I will have to bring another local “guide” for this next time..

Nimai